Housewife? Domestic goddess? Neither?

Is the 'housewife' thing a little misleading? Are you visiting here looking for tips on how to remove rust stains from linen, lipstick stains from collars (and/or how to prevent them getting there to begin with?) and wanting to know how to convince two-year olds that sultanas and extra-strong Parmesan cheese really isn't an ideal afternoon snack (happening as I type... but hey, who am I to strangle burgeoning creativity).

If I can promise you anything at all it is that there are NO answers here.

There will most likely be lots of questions, predominantly stupid ones, often rhetorical, and perhaps, more likely than not, inane. But hey, its my blog, or should that be 'blah-g' and I can rant if I want to. And, as you know, you're likely to have far more important things to do than read guff like this.

As I said, I am a 'qualified' writer. I have the papers to prove it. Somewhere. I know I've packed them - I've seen them recently. The humidity of the tropical weather in which I live has started to peel the letters off . I now seem to be the proud owner of a '_achelo_ of A_ts', which, I grant you, is probably no less worthwhile than the Bachelor of Arts. I really should have had the damn certificates mounted and framed, but hey, who wants the extra dusting... and the constant reminder of an intellect I once had but has now been eked away by childbearing, birthing and breastfeeding.

But now the past has come back to haunt me, as it often does. My 'rationale' in undertaking a writing degree was that it would come in so useful in the deep dark distant future when I had a family of my own. A decision made when I was completely, utterly single without a marriage prospect in sight. The lord himself only knows where that kind of blind optimism has gone now...

Anyway, that time has come. I am now that wife, mother, domestic goddess/walking disaster that I dreamed of and so now I have to re-learn how to write. The sentence construction I'm okay with, the spelling has only slipped a bit - seems a little Freudian (in what way I don't know) that I seem to now confuse right and write. What I have to learn is how to think up stuff to write about, and how to write it so that you'll want to read it - and how to write so that I can whinge and bitch with style and grace and not an inconsiderable amount of humour (I only hope).

This whole blogging (blah-ging) does seem a little self-indulgent (being raised Catholic, anything remotely pleasurable qualifies as self-indulgent) but I'm hoping to scare myself into actually doing the writing. Getting whatever ideas are in my head and onto virtual paper. I need the practice.

So bear with me. Or don't. As I said, your choice. If you are at a loose end, don't completely dislike what I've written so far, and notice I haven't blogged lately - give me a virtual kick up the butt and tell me to get writing.

Cheers!

PS: already I will contradict myself and provide a hint for parents. Do NOT start a blog with a naked toilet-training two year old with free rein of the house. Thankfully most of our home is tiled and what little carpet we do have is brown (serendipitous) but still, explain to me why kids can do on soft furnishings what they can't do on a toilet??? (The questions have started...)